Being Little Children

The hardest part of parenting is knowing that everything that goes right and everything that goes wrong is all my fault. I'm responsible for my children's behavior and my own. Each time I go over the top or lax out, I'm playing roulette with my children's future. I envision who I want them each to be one day. It's up to me to lead them in the right direction. I know that leading is done foremost by example, yet I blow it more and more as time passes. It escapes me how I can understand this role and still miss the mark, but I'm determined to get it right. 

Each night, I pray for wisdom in this venture. I pray for patience, self-control and the ability to train these guys in the way God intends. I'm thankful that the little nudges by the Holy Spirit are increasingly feeling more like blows. While I do feel guilty, I know that recognizing my mistakes is going to make me a better parent. It helps to think of myself as a child and remember God's mercy in all of my shortcomings. That humbling gives much needed perspective in my relationship with my boys. 

In Matthew 18, Jesus instructs us to become like little children. He goes on to warn us about causing the little ones to stumble. These two instructions together make a big impact on a parent. And being a parent gives a new perspective to Jesus' words. If I'm able to become like a little child, I'm better able to understand my children and less likely to make them stumble. If I can get behind the eyes of my boys and see me and the world the way they do, I'll be able to uplift them and present them with an environment conducive to God's will. My children can't fully understand the reasoning behind my actions any better than I can understand God's. It's up to me to provide the love, consistency, and mercy for my boys that God has bestowed on all of His children.

The infinite wisdom in God's Word to us far surpasses any books on child rearing. I realize now that life does come with a manual and it covers children. With it, I'm set to find the path that simultaneously smooths out the wrinkles of discipline and fans the flames of learning.